(MY) Secret to Happiness: (Written by Lindsay on August 19th, 2026)

A question I’ve been asked the past couple years is – what else would you like to do in your life, like dying wishes? To be 100% honest, NOTHING except one thing. I’ll get to the one thing later but I have truly done everything and more. I can truly say I have lived the most unbelievable life full of all the emotions and all the days are just icing on the cake enjoying all I’ve built and all that life has thrown at me. 

I’ve felt sadness and grief so badly I couldn’t pick myself up off the floor and happiness and joy I felt like I was flying in the clouds. 

To find love, marry, and to experience being married is a gift in itself. I found this man who loves with his whole heart and is so selfless and kind. We got married at 24 and you say those words – in sickness and in health but you never imagine at 36 you’ll be so sick that your husband goes from all he is and adds in caretaker and then as the days go on the caretaker roll becomes even more essential. It’s sad, and depressing but I guess it’s love and all that it is. 

Then motherhood. To say I was lucky enough to experience motherhood because it’s truly an experience – no playbook just go and try your darnedest to keep them alive is the biggest privilege. I had no idea what I was doing – still have no idea but I guess I did something ok as they turned out to be pretty freaking amazing human beings – so everyone says! 

I’ve experienced the world and cultures through traveling – I’ve loved everywhere we’ve gone and everywhere we’ve seen.  

The sense of peace, accomplishment and pride fill my heart. 

Only thing I missed out on was a cattle drive. So when I go – God better be ready with horses, lol. 

I am not asking my family to do this for me but I always thought that would be cool – I’d ride like Elsa from 1883. 

I’ve thought about this a lot over the past few years so figured maybe I’ll share. Call me crazy – but the below has helped me maintain and keep going. 

• When something happens or you feel lost or at a loss – Lose your shit, like go crazy for a minute (or two). Sad, bad, frustrating stuff happens all the time so go somewhere safe, – preferably alone, and just lose it. Like really lose it – Yell, scream and cry. I was once told, to battle in the trenches means you have to let a warrior cry out. That gives you strength for the real battle. Before I had a biopsy to confirm Mets in my liver years ago an OM friend told me that and I’ve taken that advice.
• Find something mesmerizing to just let it go. I personally love a good old fashioned ant farm and burning things. (1)Ant farm (lol) that’s right. I find so much peace just watching these tiny ants work their way through life. What a life, they don’t stop carrying sand on their back and digging tunnels. It’s so facinating. (2) Burn a FUCK, I also find burning something SO mesmerizing that can let your mind decompress, let your mind go. A good OM friend sent me this glass container filled with small wooden fucks. Just the wood word – so I take out one of the words, add it to a candle and watch it burn. The burn is just so uplifting. My kids and I have enjoyed burning many Fs together. 
• Lower expectations: this took me probably 40 years to figure out I’ll tell you – what a change in one’s happiness can be had. I’ve learned if you walk around life expecting or assuming people to act a specific way you’ll most likely be disappointed. So walk around just expecting life to happen and the outcome will just be the outcome and nothing less – hopefully something more. 
• Busyness builds anxiety – stop being so busy. Add time to be bored. This is a hard one because my whole life I ran around doing something, having to have something planned and it usually takes away from the moment. If always busy and always having something planned, you can’t just sit and reflect. Over the past years I have been immobilized and can’t be busy or have to stay at home and it’s allowed me to reflect on life or even just reflect on nothing and go blank in my head space. I also have seen this as a topic of conversations for child therapist and screen time. Don’t take parenting advice from me but it’s kind of magical to watch my kids struggle when their screen time is done. Like go outside, just take a random nap, etc. 

Love and grace with a big FU to my cancer, 

Lindsay