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Why Mrs Captain Ron

IMG_1617On April 24, 1993 I was introduced to the greatest movie of all time, Captain Ron. I am not sure why I love this movie so much, but maybe (1) I had a secret crush on Kurt Russell (2) I love pirates (3) the first time I saw the movie, we had to stop it early because my mom went into labor with my baby brother Brett and (4) anything that involves water is my ‘happy place’ especially Beaver Bay and everyone needs a ‘happy place’. It was all four until years later reason 5 and 6 surfaced. (5)April 2017 after diagnosis and treatment of OM (Ocular Melanoma) I lost all sight in my left eye and November 2018 I had enucleation (yep…I had my eyeball removed due to the OM- I am just like Captain Ron now, lol) and the most important (6) this movie gave me much needed peace while living with OM.

When I was diagnosed with OM, my doctor, the amazing Dr. Hovland, explained the order of importance. Life, no mets, stop tumor and then regain or keep the sight I had at diagnosis. I didn’t understand the order of importance at the time of Dx as sight was pretty darn important to me and didn’t understand the magnitude of this cancer.  It wasn’t until living with OM for a few months I finally got my priorities in line and sight was really the least important and if all I lose in this battle is my sight or even my actual eye I will be the luckiest person around. BUT before that realization, I was 34, I have three little kids and my eye, my face was important – you can’t hide your face and Paul made it very clear the only people who wear sunglasses inside are assholes or blind so…I couldn’t do that. I was truly scared of all the unknowns UNTIL I introduced Cannon to my favorite movie, Captain Ron. Maybe not the most appropriate movie for an 8 year old, but I needed Captain Ron and I needed to snuggle with my little boy for that moment. We watched the movie and there is a part where Captain Ron’s prosthetic eye falls out and Captain Ron and Ben are crawling around trying to find the eye. Cannon looked at me and asked if I ever had a fake eye could that happen to me? I said, yes that could. Would that be ok I asked? He paused for a minute and then said, yah mom, Captain Ron is cool and you would be cool too. I am not sure why, but at that moment, I had one of the weights lifted off my shoulder and could breathe just a little bit easier.

So why, Mrs. Captain Ron? BECAUSE of all of the above but we all have those life changing moments and, in that moment, I had peace of mind that no matter what happens with my eye I was going to be OK and so would my kids…I just need to be here on this earth to love and laugh and that is really all that matters. Will it be easy, NO! but somehow, some way I/we will be OK.

One of my favorite sayings in Captain Ron is “If you ever get lost…just stop and ask for directions” I thank god every day for the Colorado OM community, my family, and friends because each time I have felt lost on this journey they have been there to pick me up, steer me in the right direction, and tell me I will be Ok. I truly believe I will be OK.

#mrscaptainron #youcantakemysightbutyoucanttakemyvision #FUOM #seriouslyFUOM

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