Today I woke up numb (again) at what my day had in store – but could vividly hear the crazy morning shuffle. I think Paul told the boys to eat breakfast and put on their shoes 5 times and hollered at Connels to hurry up from whatever she was doing to get ready 5 more. Not sure why it’s always a morning shuffle – we do the same thing 5 days a week, M-F. Although I rather be in the mix doing the hooting and hollering (I am really good at that, lol) today I stayed in bed. My eye is swollen shut (again) and I preparing myself for my 3rd and pray to god final eye surgery.
First, (April 2017) to sew markers for radiation. Second (Nov 2018) my enucleation and now third (today) to remove the orbital implant that my body is rejecting and replace with a homemade orbital implant from me and reconnect everything back up. Then back to square one of healing and wait for my pretty new lens to be made. I have to say, I am pretty bummed though – this is my third surgery and each time I have asked they add on some kind of mom surgery (tuck/suck) and everyone keeps saying no. I truly think there needs to be some mom plastic doc that reviews all the cases for the day and when she comes across someone like me (upper 30s, 3 kids) she says – I am going to give this mom a surprise and when she wakes up she will not only have fixed what was needed for the surgery but she is looking 18 again….man, wouldn’t that be amazing! I’ll keep dreaming….dreaming for all the other moms out there too!
Anyway – I have to say, I am really ready to feel and look somewhat like me again, or at least the new permanent me that I will somehow learn to love and know.
Today for those reading I am asking for prayers. Prayers for my surgeon, care team, and those looking over me while I am under and recovering. Prayers my eye muscles play nice and reattach, pray for Paul, my mom and aunt Lisa as they wait in the waiting room, prayers all the pieces come together and I can finally heal completely and get back to my life.
What I miss now is being me – I really want to heal and enjoy all of your presence! So, today will come and soon go and I will be OK.
Truly grateful for the continued love, prayers and support!