I heard the news I prayed would never come but with my disease I knew it was always a matter of when NOT if.
Knowing your possible future is scary as hell and man did I and many of you truly celebrate each clean scan before this news.
For my suspicious lesions to be confirmed for metastatic melanoma I underwent a biopsy. The biopsy process was one of the scariest moments as I knew what my future could hold and that I couldn’t gather a deep breathe to take.
I was prepped with a couple missed IVs (agh – the days I can be stuck only once is also something to celebrate) then the docs came in to review the procedure. They found the lesion quite quickly by sonagram to confirm we could move forward, then sharing the risk and side effects are always low and rare but I laugh as most surgeries, most of my treatment plans I have been the rare.
Struggling to take my breathe, struggling to let go of Paul – the most amazing nurse came to my bedside and calmed my fears. It was like someone from the powers to be knew I needed this woman, this nurse in my life at that moment. She instantly calmed my fears, helped me breathe and in no time I was laughing again. Shortly after she had me prepped, the drugs started flowing to truly numb me physically and emotionally – I was being sedated. Once sedated I could hear the cuts of the biopsy taking place and also invited myself to the doctor’s happy hour. Once I did that I remember my nurse saying….ummm, she’s talking full sentences, I’ll give her another dose. Needless to say – I didn’t get a formal happy hour invite but it felt nice to let the sadness and worries melt a way if only for a brief moment.
Shortly after I was sent to post op and Paul arrived.
The feeling was weird post op – taking a deep breathe or bending over was extremely uncomfortable. I hear it’s normal and will improve.
Biopsy confirmed – metastatic melanoma is in my liver. Now considered Stage 4 metastatic melanoma.
Next steps: I have met with my CO oncologist and my records have been sent to Columbia (NY) and Thomas Jefferson (PA) to be reviewed by the expert OM oncologist in those locations. I plan to travel for treatment.